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Call it what you want: a spending plan, an income/expenses statement, or even… *GASP* a budget!
So many people need it, yet so few people use one. I didn’t for years. I got on a written budget at the start of the year with my fiancé and it has transformed our lives together. Don’t think you need a budget? Neither did I. In fact, I didn’t think I made enough money for a budget! I get paid every week, I used to pay the bills that are due that week, and then I moved on. Sadly, this is how so many people run their finances, and they don’t make full use of the potential of their money.
We were engaged and panicking. I had just moved back in with my parents and owed my former landlord nearly $1,500 in rent and a mind-numbing amount of fees. I was buried under over $8,000 of credit card debt and tens of thousands of dollars in student loans. My weekly paycheck went to a variety of bills every week, and sometimes I would be left with $15-20 to feed myself for the next seven days. My fiancé worked part-time, covering her bills but any extra expense that came up sent her into a dizzying panic. We were stressed and we found ourselves seemingly at each others’ throats when talking about money. We had a feeling of "treading water": we were covering our lifestyles, but we just weren’t making any progress. We literally never went out on dates because we had no money – we spent our time hanging out in each other’s living rooms watching DVDs.
Oh yeah, and we have a giant wedding coming up in October.
Flash forward to today: our bills are covered comfortably. We have $1,000 in cash in a savings account for emergencies. We have a fund set up (and $100 away from being finished) to cover a security deposit and first month of rent whenever we decide to get ourselves an apartment later this year. We have a hall booked, a limo paid for, a photographer hired, a cake lady booked, music equipment scheduled, and about $1,200 in our Wedding Fund to pay for reservation fees and start building for dinner and the honeymoon (the two biggies). And between the wedding and other debts, we’ve paid off over $8,000 in a little over two months.
Our incomes have both grown – not dramatically, but they are picking up momentum and they continue to grow. Our conversations about money are filled with excitement instead of stress and anger. Our unexpected expenses have been covered every time. I’m eating well and consistently have $30 every week to spend on food. Once or twice a month, she and I go out on a date – last month we went out to a nice dinner and in January we drove to Schaumberg, Illinois to spend the day at the IKEA store (and followed that with dinner). Activities like that would have been unheard-of in December.
We’re about as happy as we can be at this stage in our relationship. Our secret to this wild change of events: in the second week of January, she and I sat down and put together a written budget.
Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, personal finance isn’t just about numbers – it’s about behavior. And putting together the budget has a drastic effect on your behavior. Here are just a few of the psychological benefits we’ve enjoyed since writing down a budget:
One of the first things we did was line up all our debts, smallest-to-largest. This is to use Dave Ramsey’s "Debt Snowball" method of paying things off. I’m not going to sit and talk about Dave this whole week, because that would get pretty annoying. But writing down everything that we owe was a giant smack in the face for us. We listed our cars, our student loans, my credit cards, our budgeted wedding expenses, and even our little store credit cards. Whenever we need motivation to keep pushing forward, we look at our Debt Snowball and remind ourselves to keep going. And if you don’t want to do the Debt Snowball, no problem – but line up your debts and take a look at them. It’s imperative that you see exactly where you are financially.
A few months ago, any time spent in a store would involve my brain imagining a chalkboard with numbers like the one in Good Will Hunting. I had to figure out how much I could spend, how much I needed, where the money needed to go, where I could borrow from, etc. It was a nightmare. Then I would wind up back at home, ready to enter in my receipts, only to discover I didn’t factor in one bill that throws my whole week off. All of a sudden, I’m calling my parents and my brothers to borrow money! Today, I know exactly how much I can spend, and I do it without having to think one bit, because I know everything else is covered.
This goes along with motivation, but remember how I said our income has gone up? I’ve started hitting the phones hard, cold calling during the day to drum up some business while I work second shift 40 hours a week. She picks up extra days at the hospital and added babysitting on Mondays. As business grows and she gets picked up full-time, we’re going to keep bringing in more money. As they say, "The world belongs to those who hustle."
Having money to eat is a good thing. Having money to eat something that isn’t Ramen Noodles is even better. We get sick less often, and we can’t afford to go to the doctor all the time, so we make sure we are taking care of ourselves. This means cooking basic meals and exercising at least a few times a week. This results in more energy to keep us going throughout this process and we feel better while we do it.
We spend more time laughing and smiling around each other instead of stressing. Our demeanors towards our families and friends are much more pleasant. In summary: we aren’t freaking out so much.
Now, it’s not just the magic of writing down a budget – you have to stick to it, and that can mean a few other things:
So, all this week, I’ve got secrets to making a budget that’s going to work for you. I’m not going to force a bunch of methodologies on you – these are flexible tips: things you can apply, but in your own way and appropriate for your situation. They’re things everybody needs and can do, regardless of whether or not they think they can. I hope you join me along the way, and heck, bring a few friends or loved ones along with you! If you’ve got some feedback on a tip, drop it in the comments for all of us!
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I listen to Bob and Brian On Demand lately (a Milwaukee-based morning radio show – HILARIOUS), and they have featured a segment this year again called “Holiday Horror Stories”, where readers send in their absolutely worst stories stemming from the holiday season. Stories range from grandpa dying and his bowels releasing while his grandson is in his lap to gifts of used underwear and stuff stolen from the local bar, or – my favorite – a guy spending Christmas with his girlfriend visiting her friends and being forced to “distract” them while she steals their presents, and then blames it on him afterwards.
Anyway, while you can’t really control whether or not grandpa is going to kick it while you’re all together, here are some ways you can tolerate – and even enjoy! – the next few days with your family.
This is the easiest to remember. Sure, you went out and found your mother’s favorite book from her childhood that’s been out of print for 20 years and she got you socks. It’s okay. Let it go. I had a grandmother growing up that, for two Christmases in a row, got me the exact same nondescript bright blue hoodless sweatshirt. Not only was it something I would never wear, she clearly didn’t “get it”. But that’s okay. She tried.
More often than not, people are trying. Cut them some slack. While they may be thoughtless once in a while, many times they really do mean well, even if they’re way off base. Be gracious and thankful. Don’t pitch a fit and demand you switch it to “Yankee Swap” just because you gave an iPod and got an oven mitt.
“I bought Ryan an iPod!”
Eggnog is great. So is a good brandy old-fashioned. Even a holiday beer is a good thing. Note these are singular.
If you’re around people you don’t necessarily enjoy being around, drinking is one of the worst ways to cope. After all, you’re more honest when you drink, and you’re just going to be less tactful at hiding the fact you don’t want to be there. Suck it up and deal with it.
Don’t like talking to each other? Great! That’s where your Christmas movies come in handy. From It’s a Wonderful Life to National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, there’s something for everybody. Pop in Elf or A Muppet Christmas Carol. Turn on TNT and catch A Christmas Story for the billionth time. If you need a distraction, ditch the drinking and use one of these to keep everybody sane.
Pictured: Your sanity.
I have three older brothers. The oldest is 35 years old. We’ve got a lot of stories. There is nothing greater than sharing funny stories from the past, whether they are Christmas stories or just plain good ones. Laugh hard and think back wistfully to a time when Christmas wasn’t such a source of stress for you.
It’s hard to have a conversation when the kids are running around screaming. But instead of banishing them to the bedroom, let them run around a little bit. Maybe they don’t have to scream so much, but Christmas is a joyous, innocent time for them. They’re playing with family and new toys, and everything’s decorated. Don’t you remember what that’s like?
Heck, even play with them a little bit! Help them put together the latest gadget they got because they’re so anxious to play, or run around with them! Let them enjoy being children before they grow up and have their spirits crushed like you.
Show some joy. Hug your loved ones. This is a time of peace and love. You’d be surprised how many problems can be defused with a smile and a little laughter.
Most importantly, enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas. God bless you and your family over the next couple of days, and I wish you all safe travels and peaceful but fun times with your friends and family.
Photo courtesy of the Meitner Family Archives – Christmas 1994
I read some of the angriest emails in the world, just about every day.
Currently, I work in the glamorous world of customer service, answering emails all day. When you go to our store’s website and click “Contact Us”, those emails get sent to my department. On Black Friday this year, we had a huge Early Bird special starting at midnight. I started work at 9:00pm on Thanksgiving night and worked until 5:30am the next morning (like I said, glamorous). At midnight, emails began pouring in by the hundreds.
Our website had gone down. At midnight. On Black Friday.
Here’s just a sample of some of the comments we received over this problem:
Now, I won’t defend the fact that the site had gone down. We absolutely should’ve done a better job there. But look at some of these comments. These are sent between midnight and 5:30am on November 30th. Christmas – the last time I checked, anyway – is usually on December 25th. So I could rant and rave about how they have a whole stinking month to get something else for their kids, but that’s not where I’m going with this. One of my co-workers put it best at around 3:00am:
I don’t know her that well, but she doesn’t strike me as the hippie-“free love”-type. This was an honest comment from a normal person. What has happened to treating your fellow man (or woman) with a little bit of respect around the holidays?
It’s gone the way of the dodo bird. In its place? STUFF. Getting things. Look around – how many kids do you see who sit on their computers while their parents are hanging out in the other room? Are they learning anything about how to treat people? When you see somebody under the age of 20 walking down the street, are they interacting with the people and the environment around them? Nope. They’re listening to their iPods (or their Zunes!).
Never is this more apparent than at Christmastime. Hit the streets and watch people interact with cashiers and with other shoppers. It’s about the Almighty Deal – getting that discount before anybody else. The season of giving is now the season of getting. You can argue that you are getting these things to give to somebody else, but the bottom line is this: you will insult, push, shove, and cut in line to get that toy/TV/computer/whatever. You are perfectly fine cutting throats to get this item.
I hate it. I wish there was a way to stop it. Why can’t we teach children (and adults!) the true meaning of Christmas? Now, that means talking about Christ. If you don’t want to go there, then at least stick with peace and love. Watch those old Christmas movies and smile. The happiness that comes out of Christmas is from the interactions between people and loved ones. The love that they share.
I’ve heard the neverending argument: “But I love watching their faces light up when they open those gifts that I got them!” Does that gift necessarily have to cost an arm and a leg? Does that gift have to be some big-ticket item that you can only get on Black Friday? The gift isn’t what makes that moment special – it’s the person.
This Christmas season, why don’t we all take stock in what really matters? Think about ways you can get a warm smile from that loved one. Instead of blowing all your cash, take them out for a different experience. Stop putting all the weight of the holidays on your pocketbook. Take them to a movie. Take them ice skating or sledding. Give them an experience that will last a lifetime.
I got a lot of cool gifts when I was younger. Heck, I got cool gifts last year! But when I look back on past Christmases, the moments that bring a tear to my eye are the laughs and smiles I’ve shared with the people I care about, not what was inside the box.
Spend your Christmas talking with family and friends. Don’t spend it talking with Customer Service.
When one thinks of Facebook, a lot can come to mind: college kids, embarrassing pictures, giant wastes of time, or – God help us all – FarmVille. But Facebook has become so much more than that, if used properly. Facebook is a platform for a lot of good things, but unfortunately, a lot of potential is wasted. For example:
Remember those stupid little Tamagotchi things? The video pets that people carried around a few years ago? Would you walk around with one of those things? Pressing buttons to feed it and clean up when it poops and all that? No? So why are we doing this on Facebook?
I love a good game, I really do. But it’s one thing to play a game on Facebook, and it’s another to be obsessed with one. Hop on, play for a few minutes, and then get on with your life.
“Hey, somebody poked you.” “Now what?” “Let’s poke him back.” Yay.
I’ve actually seen a Facebook page for fans of “Not Being on Fire”.
However, after all of this, I think Facebook is a very powerful platform, and can be one of the most useful tools for communication on the internet today. In fact, after I check my email, I do hop on Facebook for a few minutes. Here are some ways you can be involved in Facebook without being a “Facebook Stalker” or a flat-out geek:
Facebook is a great platform for games where you interact with people. It’s fun to play card games, bowling, and board games with people without having to lug around the actual game wherever you go and accidentally offending Ukranians.
Pictured: Why Facebook was invented.
Games are a great way to interact and have a good time. Plus, many of them involve using a little brain power, like Scrabble, which is good for you.
Nobody cares about your number. No one. You’ve got 782 Facebook Friends? Yippee. I’ve got real friends.
Be friends with people you at least kind of know. Nothing is lamer than people who are friends with everybody that Facebook suggests just because they want to look cool. Be friends with people you want to communicate with.
There was a time when you had to write a letter and hand it to a guy on a horse with a flask and hope that it made it to your friend. Now? All you have to do is click their name and start typing. I’ve got friends in Arizona, Green Bay (but she’s coming HOME!!), Chicago, Florida, Taiwan, California, and New Mexico. You get the idea.
If this were a past time period, I’d lose touch with these people. I’d run into them at high school reunions and we’d talk about old times and marvel at how old we look and how many kids we have. Now, I can still share my life with these people, even if they’re far, far away. It’s awesome, and it gives me chills when I think about it.
These are people you care about, right? So you want them to see photos from your latest trip! When I went on my first trip to Taiwan, I took a boatload of pictures, and then I had to take them to three different households and present them, retelling the same stories over and over again.
On my second trip, I stayed overnight in a hotel in Los Angeles, and I loaded up all the pictures into photo albums and captioned them that night. Now, they can look at them at their own leisure, and I don’t have to repeat myself over and over again. Moments that you want to remember forever are great to share with the people you love.
If you have an interesting story, anecdote, or joke, post it on your status. If you’re just hopping on to talk about how much your life sucks, why don’t you wait a minute? Nobody wants to hear about it. Save it for a conversation. And on that note…
The night my fiancé and I got engaged, we spent over two hours driving around while on the phone, notifying our closest friends and family that we were getting married. Why? We wanted to beat Facebook to the punch. We knew that, had we gone to bed that night without doing so, somebody important was going to find out via Facebook, and we didn’t want that.
That also goes for things like relationship problems and discussions, big job announcements, and pregnancies. Pick up the phone and call somebody first. Let that human touch shine through a little.
I stole the term “throbbing brain” from morning radio show guys Bob and Brian, here in Milwaukee on 102.9 FM. When they need an answer, they go to the “Throbbing Brain”, which basically means they ask the listeners to provide the answer.
Looking for a car? A killer Blackberry app? Opinions on wedding halls? Post the question to your status and watch the responses pour in. The beauty of it: these are people whose opinions actually matter to you.
Found something you like? Instead of emailing it to everyone you know and clogging up their inbox, just use the Share on Facebook button. Now, anybody you care about can see it, and the people who don’t want to read it won’t resent you so much.
It’s easy to get caught up in the time-suck qualities of Facebook. But use it to your advantage, and it can be one of the most important communication tools you will ever use.
Since I was born, I was raised to be a Christian. I’ve been a Christian for all my 24 years. In that span of time, I have left the bubble of my family life and went off to college, where I was surrounded by those who didn’t have faith. I was challenged for my beliefs, and I even doubted them sometimes. It forced me to take a step away from simply believing something because I was raised to, and I had to take an honest look at my faith and the world around me. As I watch American society today, I have come to a startling conclusion:
I cannot stand “organized religion” anymore. In fact, I hate it. “Organized religion”, in my opinion, is why society is in the toilet. I think the world needs to be rid of “organized religion”.
No doubt some of you who know me personally are shocked at that statement. Allow me to clarify: I think we need to rid the world of the term “organized religion”.
When somebody uses the phrase “organized religion”, and normally I mean celebrities like Brad Pitt and Alec Baldwin, they are being derogative. They are putting your faith down. It’s an insult. Think about this: anytime somebody publicly alludes to the idea that they believe homosexuality is wrong, the media explodes. CNN is full of headlines with exclamation points (and boy, is that channel a joke!), and the world turns them into an outcast. But people regularly go on television and into interviews and puts down entire belief systems, and nobody says a word. They hide behind the publicly acceptable, politically correct phrase, “organized religion”.
I hate it. Look, this is a free country, and I am allowed to be a smart, well-read, Lutheran man. I respect everyone’s right to have their own faith. So why don’t people respect mine? Why can celebrities go on the air and basically say that Christians are idiots, and everybody just lets it go?
No doubt some of you are wondering what this rant has to do with The Practical Nerd in general. Well, I say a Practical Nerd believes in something. A Practical Nerd has faith and stands up for it. If you want to improve your life, take a good, hard look at your belief system and defend it until you are blue in the face. Don’t hide behind the “What’s right for you is fine, what’s right for me is fine” argument, because it inherently says, “Hey, we’re all wrong!”
I’ve written about how I think “open-mindedness” in its current form is crippling American society. I had a subscriber to The Practical Nerd Rules for Life unsubscribe over it – they said it proved how “closed-minded” I am. My reaction: so? Why is that a bad thing? I have beliefs, and I stand by them. What good is your faith if you just roll over and default to whoever’s around you?
We live in a fantastic country. There was a time in this world when just speaking out for your faith was an instant death sentence, and I don’t mean lethal injection. I’m talking about being bludgeoned with rocks until you’re dead, getting tied to a scrap of wood and lit on fire alive, and yes, crucifixion – getting nailed to a piece of wood and left for dead. Today, you can’t do any of that stuff. The worst thing you can get is somebody yelling at you or rolling their eyes. So what are you afraid of?
There’s a difference between being “tolerant” and “accepting” other people’s beliefs. “Tolerant” means you understand that they are there. I understand that there are plenty of people who believe differently than I do, and I can’t/won’t force them into believing what I do. But “accepting” their beliefs means you think it’s okay, which is not. I don’t think it’s okay at all. My beliefs are exclusive of their beliefs, and vice-versa. That means, by believing what I believe, I think they are wrong.
That doesn’t mean that I have to preach to them at every waking moment, or disassociate myself with them. I don’t look down on them or treat them differently. I’m talking about a very important mindset and attitude.
So what do you do, as an aspiring Practical Nerd?
First, you don’t ditch out on your faith because Bill Maher thinks it’s stupid. Celebrities already sway our political vote despite being wildly unqualified. They already show us what to wear and how to act. They teach us to leave this country and adopt kids from other countries. Don’t let them take away our faith.
Second, you do not insult somebody for their beliefs, nor do you treat them differently because of them. Even if you don’t believe in what the Bible says, take a look once at what Jesus did while he was around. He hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes and treated them with respect. He didn’t tell them he thought they were okay. In fact, he flat-out told them they were sinning. But in the face of society, who had treated these people as awful outcasts, he dined with them and befriended them. You do the same. If the differences in faith come up in conversation, have a respectful, calm exchange of ideas. Intelligent discussion is a beautiful thing when done respectfully.
Third, take a good, hard look at your faith. I stand before you today a Lutheran, just as I always have been. But that doesn’t mean I blindly follow it. I continue to educate myself in the faith and take an analytical look at Lutheranism, Christianity, and the world today.
Finally, take a stand. Develop a backbone. Be confident in what you believe in. Regardless of society’s attempts to undermine its importance, your faith makes you who you are. It is the moral compass that drives your actions. It is your foundation. Build on it. Don’t just stand up for it when it is convenient. Defend it against opposition.
Yeah, yeah, it’s not popular. It’s not cool. It’s not what society wants you to do today. But why are we listening to so many people whose sole intents in life are to entertain us and drive up ratings and movie revenue? Get some substance to your life, and remove the term “organized religion” from your vocabulary.
