For those who don’t know me personally, I am a freelance writer. I’ve done copywriting for several years now, and I decided, earlier this year, to take the plunge into becoming a full-on marketing firm. As I putzed around for a year, completely in over my head, I manage to get a project here and there. Then it dawns on me: social media marketing.

Blogging. Twitter. Facebook. Everything is going social these days, including marketing. This was a slam dunk! I even managed to get Erik Chopin from season 3 of The Biggest Loser to sign on. This was going to be great!

Uh… wait.

After getting into it for a few months, I realized something: social media can’t be done by a marketing firm. Sure, they can put together campaigns. They can develop iPhone apps and YouTube videos. But the execution and the engagement has to be done by the company. So, as I pull away from the social media marketing flop, here’s a few lessons I’ve learned that we can all use in our real-world relationships.

Don’t be somebody you’re not.

I’m not Erik Chopin. I didn’t lose hundreds of pounds on national television. I’m not a no-B.S. guy from New York City. I’m Tom Meitner, a skinny guy who’s never been on TV and who hails from Milwaukee. The people are going to go to Erik’s website to see Erik, not me.

Are you pretending to be somebody you’re not? I’m a fairly quirky guy, and my friends just have to accept that about me. I don’t try to hide the fact that:

• I think everybody should like the same television shows that I like.
• I’m a Christian man.
• I sometimes eat bread and ketchup as a snack, to the disgust of pretty much everyone.

But that’s me. People accept it. Be true to who you are. Don’t be a ghostwriter for yourself.

Engage people in conversation.

Sometimes, when I’m on the phone with my fiancé, if I’m tired or distracted, she winds up getting the “uh-huh” and “mm-hmm” from me. It becomes clear I’m not paying attention, and she gets mad at me. And for good reason. Social media is a two-way conversation as well. The best bloggers out there respond to emails and comments. They get the most loyalty from readers.

Be a part of the conversation you are in. Don’t just be polite and half-listen. And don’t just talk to people either; ask them about their lives and how their day is going. I guarantee you, it will breed a much stronger relationship. Be pleasant to talk to.

Mix it up.

The people who market the best with social media are involved in different areas: they blog with video, they do audio podcasts, they write, they post pictures. They have different methods of reaching out and interacting with their audiences.

Look closely at your friendships: do they just revolve around going to the bars? Do you only interact with them at work? Do you only approach them when you have nothing else to do? A friendship is based on shared experiences of all kinds: go see a concert or a movie together. Stay in and hang out (is that an oxymoron?). Take a short trip together. Build experiences with people, and they will respond in kind.

Make the other person feel important.

The best blogging tip out there is to write for the audience, not for yourself. Which means, base your posts on what they need to hear, not what you want to say. It makes the reader feel like they are important.

Call up a friend to just say “hi”. Buy or make them a gift. Do a nice gesture for them. That’s how you show true friendship.

Don’t do it for your own personal gain.

Social media is to be used for your passion. It is to be done to connect with your audience. After that, if you want to make money, there are ways to do it. But if you head into it with money being the sole motivation, you will fail. Just like I did.

Don’t just be friends with a coworker to get ahead. Don’t just hang out with the guy that always buys the drinks. Spend time with people you care about; don’t patronize people just to get stuff you want.

I’m sure there are other lessons – can you think of any? Share them in the comments!

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Think of that elusive “door”. Can you see it? Do you know what I’m talking about?

The door you want to be walking through. The door to the life you want. The door that changes everything for you. Everybody has a door in their lives. The door is whatever goals you have set up in your life. If you imagine what you want your life to be, walking through your door is how you get there from the life you have now.

Some people want the door to be opened for them. Some people are convinced it will always be locked and they don’t have the key. Some try to pick the lock. Others just want to run right through the darn thing. I, however, have a much simpler solution: knock.

Okay, enough with the metaphors, right? What do I mean? I recently read an article on marketing, and it actually got me thinking about life and the opportunities that are presented in it. Here’s what the author did to drum up more business for himself:

I finally decided that if I wanted something to happen, I had to go and get it. So I did the simplest thing I could think of: I just asked for it. I wrote to a bunch of different sites, and asked if they needed writers. I pitched a few ideas, used my blog as a resume, and offered my services.

I couldn’t give you an exact number, but the response rate to my emails was extraordinarily low. Let’s just say that if I were a baseball player with that batting average, I wouldn’t be a baseball player much longer. Only a couple of people responded at all, and a few of those turned into the jobs I got initially as a freelance blogger. But my batting average wasn’t high.

And it didn’t matter. For the opportunities that didn’t come my way, all it cost me was a few minutes of my time to send an email. The hour it took to write ten emails, even if it only generated one response, was well worth it just for that one response.

I got my dream job this summer from exactly the same thing: I sent an email. I can’t explain why it worked, or why I got a response instead of the hundred or so other people my boss got applications from. It worked, though, and for one reason: I asked. If I never heard back, so be it; it’s a wasted ten minutes. But I did, and it became a fantastic experience for me.

“Opportunity knocks”, right? Wrong. You can’t sit around and expect opportunities to fall into your lap. You need to take action. You need to take charge of your life and do something about whatever you don’t like. What are you afraid of? Failure? A lot of people don’t think they can handle screwing something up. Just think to yourself, What’s the worst thing that could happen? In most cases, the “worst thing” is barely anything that will matter to you beyond a day or so.

That’s why I want you knocking on doors. It’s simple, and it’s fairly painless. If you were going door-to-door with some flyers, the worst thing you can probably expect to happen is someone might yell at you to leave them alone or shut the door in your face. Apply that to the rest of your life: why are you so afraid of rejection? Embarrassment? Get over yourself. Knocking on doors is easy – everyone can do it, and eventually, you’ll find yourself knocking on the door you’ve always wanted to open.

Lonely? Go out and join some social gathering or group and talk to a few people. Maybe you’ll make some friends. Worst case scenario: you won’t, and you’ll be back where you started. Need a new job? Polish up that resume, send it out to a few places, and start calling companies. Worst case scenario: you won’t get a new job and you’ll be back where you started. Looking for love? Go out on a few dates and give some people a chance. Worst case scenario: one of you won’t be interested in the other, and you’ll be – that’s right – back where you started.

In each of these cases, and in most others, the worst case scenario is that your knocking doesn’t work and you’re back where you started. But at least by knocking, you are giving yourself a fighting chance. Stop giving up on yourself and your life. If you keep knocking, you’ll keep learning, and you’ll keep moving forward in life.

[The quote above is from the article, Can't Miss Marketing: Just Ask from Stepcase Lifehack.]

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It’s no secret that I’m a big fan of Lifehacker. It’s got a perfect blend of really nerdy computer advice along with incredibly practical tips as well. This time they bring an article with Tod Marks of Consumer Reports on subtle supermarket marketing and how they get you to buy into things you don’t need:

"Prime selling space is right in the center, eye-level if you will," Marks says. In fact, companies sometimes pay thousands of dollars to have their products placed on the center shelf. And, Koeppen continues, those items tend to be more expensive than the ones found high or low. "The lower level and the high-on-top level, they’re kind of the low-rent districts," Marks notes. "You put commodities there — things that don’t bring in a lot of profits that people are going to buy, no matter what."

Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Head on over to Lifehacker for their full write-up and a link to the original article. Do you have any special tricks you use to save money in the supermarket? Share them in the comments!

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