Oh, if only I could enforce this.
What just happened?
Look around you. Did anything change? Did the U.S. government suddenly agree with you? Did you lose 30 pounds? Did that girl/guy fall in love with you? Did you just get a promotion? What happened? Ask around if you need to. Search Twitter or ask your Facebook friends. What changed?
“Duh, Tom. Nothing happened.”
Did you feel dumb participating in that? (Probably not, because I bet you didn’t anyway.) But why do we do this every single day then? Complaining about some aspect of the world does absolutely nothing. Just saying, “Ugh, it’s too hot in here!” doesn’t suddenly cool the place down. Saying that things need to change doesn’t actually do anything! And yet, every time we get together with friends or family, we all feel the need to complain about Democrats/Republicans, that sister-in-law, your health, your job, or whatever else bugs you.
“So what? I want to complain!”
Do you really? What does it accomplish? I’ve heard people tell me in the past that it’s “fun” or it “makes them feel better”. I don’t know about you, but whenever I’ve gone off on a tirade about something, I don’t feel any better when I’m done. If anything, I feel worse. And when somebody complains out loud, they’re just trying to get other people to agree with them anyway, to validate their opinion. It’s the classic “misery loves company” deal: you’re thinking, Well, if I’VE gotta be miserable about this, I bet everyone else should be, too! But where does that get you? It gets you a room full of people annoyed about something. Then we go back to watching TV, and some of us get up to go get another beer.
Complaining is okay. It’s healthy, even – at least healthier than bottling things up inside. But you can’t let the complaint be the end of the discussion.
If you have time to whine and complain about something, then you have the time to do something about it. - Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book
The first step is getting angry. That’s great, and it’s one we can get on board with. But after that, we need to do three things:
- Determine what the better alternative is, or how we can live with the thing that’s bugging us.
- Figure out the steps needed to achieve #1.
- Freaking do it.
Instead of focusing so much of your energy on the rage and the whining, focus more of it on the Okay, what do I do now? part of it. And if you seriously determine that there is nothing you can do about it (which is pretty unlikely, but anyway), then you need to just let it go and move on. Spend more time working on things you can control. Remember that complaint I had at the beginning of this post? Well, now I’m getting into yoga with my wife, and we’re going to kick some serious butt. What are you going to do?
Think of someone that you admire for their accomplishments.
It could be an old war hero, or a government official that revolutionized their office. It could be somebody more personal, like a parent or another loved one. These people likely have your admiration because they did something. They didn’t sit around whining – they hitched up their britches (not sure if that’s an expression or not, but I’m using it anyway), rolled up their sleeves, and got to work.
Now, it’s your turn. Otherwise, you’re not going to be someone that people want to be around. And you’ll turn into a cranky old person that everybody eventually ignores. Oh, and that thing that you keep complaining about will still be there. Sounds fun, hey?
Tom is an entrepreneur and freelance writer, working out of his apartment full-time, or wherever he feels like taking his laptop. He doesn't take long European vacations or blogs on the beach. He's an Average Joe that took control of his life. He wants you to do the same.
