It’s amazing to me sometimes how crippling fear of change can be. You start at an early age: when you do something different from the other kids, they make fun of you (well, they did to me, at least). If all the kids get average grades and you get better grades, they target you. If they are all average at sports and you are terrible at them, they laugh at you. If they all watch a certain show on TV and you don’t, you are an outcast. When that happened to me as a child, I started pulling back on everything and spent a good number of years refusing to be myself out of embarrassment.
This fear clings to you and forces you into doing stupid things when you grow up. The iPhone has become a status symbol, despite its limitations and overblown pricing. Besides that, people are spending ridiculous amounts of money for a phone that plays apps that you’ll never need to use. But you buy one because they’re “cool”. Newlyweds rush out to get themselves into a mortgage that they can’t afford with no down payment because they think it’s the adult thing to do. Music has gone from a form of expression to just another reminder that human beings have sex and like money. We do these things just to keep up – because we think we should.
And what do we have to show for this? Well, let’s see. In the United States alone, some scary statistics have been released. In 2009, a study was conducted on consumer debt (like credit cards, loans, etc.). Here was its findings: “This data… tells us that Americans carried approximately $886 billion in credit card debt and that number is expected to grow to a projected $1,177 billion by the year 2010. This works out to over $5,100 in credit card debt per cardholder (not household) and that number is expected to increase to over $6,500 by 2010.”
Status quo = broke.
That’s okay, though. Remember the old expression: “At least you have your health.” Well, not according to these statistics released by the U.S. Center for Disease Control: 39.8 million American adults; more than 57% of American adults are overweight, and there are 300,000 premature deaths associated with obesity annually.”
Status quo = fat and dying.
I wonder what could cause this. Is it our focus on television? The Bureau of Labor Statistics sheds some light on our viewing habits: “Watching TV was the leisure activity that occupied the most time (2.8 hours per day), accounting for about half of leisure time, on average, for those age 15 and over. Socializing, such as visiting with friends or attending or hosting social events, was the next most common leisure activity, accounting for nearly three-quarters of an hour per day.”
Status quo = lazy.
Well, the good news is we’re happy, right? That’s all that matters! Ask anybody and they’ll say, “Hey, whatever makes them happy!” Oh, wait: the U.S. was ranked #16 in happiness in 2008 of any country in the world. So, regardless of the fact that we have the freedom to worship how we want, say virtually anything we want, and decide to do whatever we want, we are still unhappy.
Status quo = miserable.
This isn’t going to be one of those kinds of posts though. What I want to say is once I bucked the status quo and started doing things a little differently than others, I started to see drastic changes in my life that ultimately added to my happiness. If you are cruising along, happy with being average but ready to complain about it at the drop of a hat, it’s time to grow up and take control. Start being different and ditch the fear:
First, recognize that you are the one doing this, nobody else. There’s not going to be someone to walk up to you and tell you how to act or what to do. Nobody is helping you. You’re not going to be different once you get the chance. You are going to do it. Now. No excuses. Time to start getting it done.
Then, be prepared for a backlash. Just like when you were a kid, somebody is going to tell you you’re being stupid. Better yet, they might even call you a “nerd”. But hey, that’s a compliment, right? 
That’s what I say. When you start doing things differently, people will think you’re weird. Screw ‘em.
Have a plan of action. This could be written out or just an idea, but make sure you are being deliberate about your actions and their short-term and long-term consequences. There’s a difference between being different and taking stupid risks. Risk is a wonderful thing if you have a plan for it. It’s a terrible thing if you don’t prepare yourself for the worst.
Not sure where to get started? Find some people who are already doing what you want to do. Search the music blogs for some cool new stuff to listen to, or use a music recommendation service. Hunt around for some blogs on people who are already losing weight, simplifying their life, building a business, or just generally being awesome. Follow them around on their blogs and on Twitter or Facebook. If you want to be successful, you need to study successful people.
And if you want to start being different, but aren’t sure what to do, here are some ideas to get your brain juices flowing:
- Start finding real singers and songwriters in different genres of music
- Turn that interest of yours into a viable business idea and start building it
- Overhaul your diet and find new ways to incorporate healthy foods
- Start cooking simple dishes
- Get creative on ways to save money
- Cut up your credit cards and force yourself to stop using them
- Figure out what you can do to make yourself happy (i.e., winning the lottery doesn’t count)
- Take a room of your house and start de-cluttering it
- Cut your cable, or get rid of your TV
- Downgrade your cell phone when your contract is up, instead of upgrading
A lot of times, you may have to force yourself to do something. But once you start reaping its benefits, you may never go back. Let’s help each other out: What do you do to be different?
Tom is an entrepreneur and freelance writer, working out of his apartment full-time, or wherever he feels like taking his laptop. He doesn't take long European vacations or blogs on the beach. He's an Average Joe that took control of his life. He wants you to do the same.
