I listen to Bob and Brian On Demand lately (a Milwaukee-based morning radio show – HILARIOUS), and they have featured a segment this year again called “Holiday Horror Stories”, where readers send in their absolutely worst stories stemming from the holiday season. Stories range from grandpa dying and his bowels releasing while his grandson is in his lap to gifts of used underwear and stuff stolen from the local bar, or – my favorite – a guy spending Christmas with his girlfriend visiting her friends and being forced to “distract” them while she steals their presents, and then blames it on him afterwards.

Anyway, while you can’t really control whether or not grandpa is going to kick it while you’re all together, here are some ways you can tolerate – and even enjoy! – the next few days with your family.

Don’t pin it all on the gifts.

This is the easiest to remember. Sure, you went out and found your mother’s favorite book from her childhood that’s been out of print for 20 years and she got you socks. It’s okay. Let it go. I had a grandmother growing up that, for two Christmases in a row, got me the exact same nondescript bright blue hoodless sweatshirt. Not only was it something I would never wear, she clearly didn’t “get it”. But that’s okay. She tried.

More often than not, people are trying. Cut them some slack. While they may be thoughtless once in a while, many times they really do mean well, even if they’re way off base. Be gracious and thankful. Don’t pitch a fit and demand you switch it to “Yankee Swap” just because you gave an iPod and got an oven mitt.

  “I bought Ryan an iPod!”

Limit the liquor.

Eggnog is great. So is a good brandy old-fashioned. Even a holiday beer is a good thing. Note these are singular.

If you’re around people you don’t necessarily enjoy being around, drinking is one of the worst ways to cope. After all, you’re more honest when you drink, and you’re just going to be less tactful at hiding the fact you don’t want to be there. Suck it up and deal with it.

Watch a great Christmas classic.

Don’t like talking to each other? Great! That’s where your Christmas movies come in handy. From It’s a Wonderful Life to National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, there’s something for everybody. Pop in Elf or A Muppet Christmas Carol. Turn on TNT and catch A Christmas Story for the billionth time. If you need a distraction, ditch the drinking and use one of these to keep everybody sane.

Pictured: Your sanity.

Swap stories from days gone by.

I have three older brothers. The oldest is 35 years old. We’ve got a lot of stories. There is nothing greater than sharing funny stories from the past, whether they are Christmas stories or just plain good ones. Laugh hard and think back wistfully to a time when Christmas wasn’t such a source of stress for you.

Go easy on the kids.

It’s hard to have a conversation when the kids are running around screaming. But instead of banishing them to the bedroom, let them run around a little bit. Maybe they don’t have to scream so much, but Christmas is a joyous, innocent time for them. They’re playing with family and new toys, and everything’s decorated. Don’t you remember what that’s like?

Heck, even play with them a little bit! Help them put together the latest gadget they got because they’re so anxious to play, or run around with them! Let them enjoy being children before they grow up and have their spirits crushed like you.

Smile.

Show some joy. Hug your loved ones. This is a time of peace and love. You’d be surprised how many problems can be defused with a smile and a little laughter.

Most importantly, enjoy yourself. It’s Christmas. God bless you and your family over the next couple of days, and I wish you all safe travels and peaceful but fun times with your friends and family.

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