Think about that smile on your face – is it a true, honest smile? Here’s a quick test: picture a young boy running around and playing. Listen to that laugh that’s bursting out of him; look closely at the joy in his eyes. That’s real happiness. Do you have that look on your face?

Especially in the blogosphere, happiness is a popular topic. We all talk about choosing happiness. I mean heck, my free ebook for signing up for the Practical Nerd Newsletter is called the 3 Keys To Happiness. We all want to be happy. It’s too obvious of a statement to write here, but I’m still going to say it.

But what’s the difference between real happiness and fake happiness? There are times in your life when you may actually try to force happiness into your life – when you have this ideal image of how life should look for you, and you shoehorn your way into that position. But when you do that, you fail to understand that we human beings are fallible. We make mistakes. Sometimes, we might think something is a good idea, and it’s actually a colossally stupid move.

You buy that house that you really can’t afford right now because you think you should be in a house right now. You stay with that abusive boyfriend because you think he’ll come around. You get married to that girl because you wanted to be married by this age. You buy that iPhone so that you can join in the conversation. You hang around in that job you hate because you think happy people have these types of careers by now.

Seeing a pattern? You are using all these external issues to fuel what’s going on inside. Without the right approach to happiness, you will just accumulate debts, have loveless marriages (and divorces), and be miserable at your job.

Let’s change this course of action, shall we? How can you allow yourself to be happy without trying to push it?

Be happy with what you’ve got, for cryin’ out loud!

We all have more than we think. As a U.S. citizen, I live in a culture that thrives on envy and greed. We all want more because somebody else has more. You will never be able to satisfy that craving. Last week, I wrote about finding your positive attitude in life. Compared to past generations, we have more than we could possibly wish for. Stop the selfishness and allow yourself to enjoy and savor what you do have.

Keep on learning.

As you grow and learn, you will build confidence and perspective. Discover new ways to approach issues. Learn about other cultures that may not be as blessed as we are. You instantly start realizing where you are truly at in life. It also exercises your brain, which is great for your attitude.

Get off your butt.

Finish reading The Practical Nerd (I insist!), and then get up. Either go outside, or walk around the house for a few minutes. If you’re at the office, take a fiver and go outside for a quick breath of fresh air. Moving around gets your blood pumping, which gives you more energy and boosts your overall attitude.

Analyze your relationships objectively.

This is a hard one: you may have a loved one or significant other that you’ve been with for a very long time. It’s old and reliable, like a shoe. But if you are in an abusive relationship or one that just isn’t going anywhere, get out of it. You deserve more than that, and so does the other person. If you’ve got friends that are constantly taking advantage of you or are brushing you aside, start ignoring them for a while. If they come back, tell them why you pulled away. If they don’t, you can find new friends.

Focus on the right stuff.

Life is not about what happens to you – it’s about how you handle it. Instead of thinking about all that’s gone wrong in your life, start thinking about how you plan to attack these problems, step-by-step. Think about what you can control – the rest of it isn’t worth worrying about.

Take some time to laugh.

Set aside a little time every day to wind down. Throw on a DVD of something that makes you laugh and watch a little. Do nothing else. Leave your laptop in your office (or in your laptop bag) and just be in the moment for a few minutes. Give your brain that break, and it will reward you handsomely when you need it to work its hardest.

Be realistic about life.

If you are shooting for the moon and fully expecting to get there tomorrow, stop. Set realistic goals and the steps you need to take. Understand and recognize that sometimes life just plain sucks. If you are expecting it to be better, you are fooling yourself. Life is hard work from birth until death, and once you realize it, a weight falls off your shoulders.

Be happy for other people.

Just because it seems like somebody else is farther along in life than you, or it seems like they’re getting everything you think you need, be happy for them. Your happiness does not depend on the quality of their life. Besides, everybody has crap they have to deal with; some people are just better at hiding it than others.

Get your free ebook.

Last but not least, sign up for The Practical Nerd Newsletter on the left side of this page. You’ll get motivation and other insights, as well as the free ebook on the 3 Keys To Happiness. That will certainly bring a smile to your face!

Do you have any thoughts on being happy versus forcing happiness? Share in the comments!

Get great, practical advice sent straight to your inbox every week! For more information on The Practical Nerd Rules for Life, click here. Plus, learn how you can get a copy of my FREE ebook!

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